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Happy New Year, pagany friends! It's 2010, and not much has changed! It's politics (of fear) as usual, the Jihad is still on (what are YOU wearing under there?), and we're questioning whether this new Pope has been testicle-checked. Carmen decides to launch a Pentacade (rather than Crusade, get it?) and lunges at the Pope during Christmas mass. Lucky calls for a storming of the Vatican archives to reclaim pagan treasures. And we propose new tactics for preventing future underwear bomb attacks. Let's just say it's another "smooth move" from New York City's craziest pagans.

Eat My Pagan Ass Bomb!

Email us with your New Year resolutions, and let us know: if you could join our Pentacade and storm the Vatican to reclaim pagan treasures of yore, what would you hope to find? eatmypaganass@gmail.com.

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